a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
