a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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