dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
