$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I will be naked everywhere
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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