You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Randomize
