normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
