the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize