your parents love me but you hate me
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Mom said you looked used
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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