OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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