please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
