therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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