I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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