THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize