i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize