Jerry, you need to find god
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
This house was built for laser tag.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
