im about as happy as oj after his trial
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
