It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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