I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize