Sponge bath it is.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize