he wants to bone in the snuggie
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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