We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you would pick up someone in the library
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
