You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize