the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
