So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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