The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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