i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
