you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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