I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
