Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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