Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
