i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
