white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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