the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
