She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
