sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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