What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
