if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
