At least make sure they are 18
Why
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
