Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
And then he peed in my hair
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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