I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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