he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
