I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
