He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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