Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
