i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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