Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
