sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
