its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
