he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
i need some magic done to my vagina
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
