i don't like sucking hair
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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