I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
