Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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