How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
