yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
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