Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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