When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
