awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
