its not stalking. its research.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
