i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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