the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
