i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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