I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize