Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
