All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
She said her name was "party"
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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